...You've got me addicted to K-Pop! XPPPPPPP

It's really catchy stuff, actually. I had no clue, and yet here I am, downloading the newest single by BIGBANG XD

Yeah, the reason for this... weird conversion (for lack of a better word) is because of two people: xshootxawayxand venus_aurea

They're constantly talking about K-Pop bands, and since I'm on a strike from a lot of Japanese artists at the moment, I need a new genre to keep me occupied. I'm so lame....

Oh, but not like a real strike, I'm just immature XP

Here's a list of Japanese artists who've recently gotten on my bad side:



~Hime Ichigo: They're breaking up! WTF??? I just started getting into their music last month and that's it? They're disbanding in December? *sadness*


~Acid Black Cherry/ Janne Da Arc: It's not so much that they're making me mad, but yasu, the vocalist of both bands, is stopping all activities because he needs to go into surgery because his throat is full of cysts that medicine can't cure T_T So sad... And his voice is sooooo beautiful, so I get sad listeneing to him....


~An Cafe: Same thing as ABC/ JDA. Listening to them for some reason is making me sad, because the final live is only a couple of months away. I mean, I can listen to the silly songs like Pxxxy'n Purrin, or Uzumaki Senshokutai, but not much else lately...

Oh, and still, Miku's god-awful placement of a tattoo >_<.



~Versailles: You'd think I'd be over Jasmine You already.... well, seeing them at the V-Rock Festival, with the 4 of them looking soooo elegant, and then there's.. some guy in the background playing bass, it was heartbreaking :'(

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BF7Avl1wHjw

I mean, I'm glad they're getting back into the swing of things without Jasmine, but it's just weird thinking there will be another bassist onstage with them. Though if you read the interview they recently gave, saying how Jasmine was onstage with them in spirit, it made the stage seem less empty.


~Gackt: I know, right? Didn't expect that one, did you? XD Well, here's my reason: He gave away how old he is! Gackt noooooo! You're supposed to be a vampire born on July 4th, 1540, not... a real age!

http://career.oricon.co.jp/news/70378/full/

Why'd you give it away???? *Sigh* I can only hope that he's not going to give away his real name....



That's it, I think. But yeah, any other J-rock bands, I'm fine with hahaha. But at the moment, for K-Pop bands, I like SHINee, 2NE1, Wonder Girls, BIGBANG, but especially G-DRAGON ._.

They certainly don't have the same sex appeal as J-rockers, but they're stuff... it's just soooo catchy!

...Hey, did you know BoA was Korean? o-0 I'm adding her to my list of artists I like, hahaha

With that, I leave a vid of the... eccentric G-DRAGON live:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXSvL4huab8

I don't much like his hair in this vid, but I think his impression of Michael Jackson is hilarious XD

Oh and Yay for 50 entries!

...But I'm sick, losing my voice and I have a singing audition in 2 days x_x

...And no, I still don't know how to embed videos -_-"

Today's just one of those days... This really is for venting, so you don't need to comment or anything.

I just... wish that certain people had more time for me. Is that selfish?

I know that there are reasons and excuses and what-not, but today, I'd mentally (not emotionally, I'm not sure if that will ever go for me...) prepared myself to finally get everything I needed to say off my chest and out of my head, where it's been rattling around in my head for a while but...

Nope.

I guess not.

I mean... uuuuuuggghhhh I just want to scream. I would if I wasn't losing my voice. Crying, well, that's extremely played out by now, but yeah, I'm sure I'll be doing that soon. But more than anything I just want to speak. Or for someone to listen. Like, now. Please. I don't want to be the only one to know all of this anymore.

What's prompted all of this... A good day that ended on a low note.

LJ writer's block questions that are making me think things I shouldn't at this point but when does one little bitty thing not make my mind wander these days?

But what I'm getting really freaking irritated with is how slow my Vista comp is going...

...Yeah, I need to find another way to vent, while I wonder if I'm a regret.

Just want to give a little summary about this first...

A couple of days ago, peace_b84 found the November Pati Pati scans (via vvshu.com), and we both noticed something rather peculiar...



( WARNING! HEAVY MIKU IMAGE USAGE! Shocking 0-0 ), vvshu.com, and jrock_scans. Please credit!!!

...Oh, and I made 3 new friends in 24 hours o-0 Yay! Hi to antikucafekko, kokorouta, and osharekeisayu! ^_^ I hope you didn't add me just to add to a friend collection XD</div>




[edit] By the way... I know this is on your F-lists 4 times... I'm trying to fix it ^^;

[edit 2] ...Yeah, I don't know how to fix the cut... *failz*

[edit 3] WHERE IT SAYS "WARNING! HEAVY MIKU IMAGE USAGE! Shocking 0-0", THAT'S WHERE THE PICTURES ARE! ...It's the cut, don't cha know XD Sorry, this post is such a disorganized mess...

I'm bored XD

And I've had a stressful day, full of tears and resentment and all that wonderful crap x_x

So, since I've gotten home from school, I've been studying for my SATs tomorrow... And taking long breaks to fill my head with the utmost random stuff *_*

Such as...

*Reading a fanfic by silveryxdarkthat has the... very strange pairing of Shou and Kanon o-0 I don't like Alice Nine. so maybe it was just strange for me...

*Watching Tosh.O (It's so immature but I love it still hahaha)

*Editing my RP-turned-fanfic

*Watching An Cafe on a show in Germany called 'Bei KiKa' (My cousin speaks German, I wonder if she knows what they were saying...)

*Downloading Gazette vids (whatever hasn't been deleted on YouTube that is...) as well as getting very into the HIZAKI Grace Project for the first time ever 0-0

*OBSESSIVELY listening/watching LM.C's new single 'Ghost Heart'

 (here): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkonTkWdC9g

...I don't know how to make it the actual vid -_-"

*And finally... Finding this pic on the An Cafe Spain website/ nyappypopo's LJ:



0-0 MIKU???? What the hell?

...Not to say that in a bad way, but I mean... What the hell??? Where did this come from??????

...Actually, his head looks smaller in proportion to his neck...

But other than that! If this is what Miku's hinted modeling career will be like... I can't wait for more 0.0


Well....I need to study more =\ I'll post later... maybe XD

Heyyyyyyy guyssssss! : D

...If you somehow haven't forgotten me, I thank you very much for it <3

Anway, I've been gone for over a month! Wows... But the term is over, so I can screw around on the internet again XD

This term... I think I did okay, I need to have done okay, since I'm looking for colleges and first term really really counts -.-" *Prays for straight A's...*

Also, I haven't been all to honest, but what the heck? They call it LiveJOURNAL for a reason:

My Updates:

~I'm going to be majoring in creative writing/fiction writing, minoring in international... communications, I think... That, or international studies

~I'll be fanfic-writing again!!! But no fluff, or at least, not much. I've been feeling angsty *_*

~...Actually, I've been breaking my hiatus a lot, but just for An Cafe and GazettE news, and for silveryxdark's stories X3

~I saw 'Paranormal Activity' o-0 It wasn't bloody-gory scary, but more like freak-you-out, subtly scary. I really recommend you go see it!

~I would have been back sooner, but I just went through a painful (for me) break-up

~I'm going to be starting therapy next week, for that (^) and other personal reasons

~...Well, there is more, but until I'm absolutely sure, I don't wanna come out with it =\



I think that's it.... I do have loads to say, but now's not the time ^^;


Yeah, so this has been the longest day ever, and my legs are killing me from our mile...ish XD I need to start commenting again hahaha

Aaaaaand elgclol, where are yoooou? T_T

Okay, peace out! ^_^

Due to reasons beyond my control, and wanting to stay absolutely true to the list of goals I made for myself in the last post, I'm going on an indefinite hiatus. I really want to focus my time on getting my license, searching through colleges, preparing for the SATs, and overall, not procrasting. I'm only going to come back on LJ to participate in the Zeppy group purchase... hopefully :0 ...

I'll post if I get free time, but I'll most likely still be on my hiatus then (unfortunately, this site is veeeeery distracting, so I need to get it out of my life for a while).

But, never fear: Like Antic Cafe, I shall return! XD

Oh, and if you live around the east side of the US, can you throw me some suggestions for colleges? Thanks if you can :D

Heeeeeeeere's my more significant entry! XD

To answer my own question, today in my Economics class at school, we had to buy stocks, and I bought: Burger King for 100 shares minimum (because I hate McDonald's XP), Targer for 150 shares (because Walmart didn't even occur to me -.-"), and Apple Inc. for 200 shares (because they just came out with the new IPod... 5G? The one with the video recorder *_* I need a new IPod...) And THAT is the connection ;)

It also occured to me that I never talk about school, which started for me on Sept. 1st (probably to save you all from the chaos that is my life @_@), so , so you know what I'll be talking about, here is my schedule:

-Chorus
-Theatre Arts
-Economics
-Gym --> Archery
-Study/Advisory (depending on the day)
-Advanced Algebra and Trig.
-Hearts of Darkness (online class)
-World Literature AP
(No sciences or French! *confetti canons explode*)
 

Not to bore you with details, hahaha.
 

( Venting about my crappy day in Theatre Arts class, you can skip it if ya want... )

Noooooooow, the venting is done. Onto my positives! ...*More positive*

I'm making a set of goals for myself. The list isn't big yet, but they are important:

*Do homework THE NIGHT I get it
*Get more sleep
*Somehow gain more confidence for improvisation
*Buy BB Parallel World

...XD That one is last, hahaha, because the others before it are more important. (But seriously, I have a longer list of stuff that I want to buy o-0)

Speaking of buying, I'm going to take advantage of bodyline's super awesome $20 shipping anywhere deal! X3 I love their stuff ever since I bought from them in Japan. I can't wait to order the things I want (but I'm on a budget, so it's only a chunk of stuff that I can get...) Here's one thing I really want:
 

 

(sorry for the small pic...) But that skirt is amazing, ne? *_* What I don't understand is why they use non-Japanese models for a Japanese clothing brand? I mean, I know that it's Bodyline's English site, but still... ?_?

Also, two people have told me about this site called Pupe, I think? I have no clue what it is, but it has to do with showing off and looking at fashions, and I love fashion. I'll be so grateful if someone cane help me navigate! :D

And I'm going to my first homecoming! I figure since it's my senior year, I might as well do all of the school stuff I've put off, as a final hurrah, you know? hahaha. I'm going dress shopping with my friend Joanna, since I'm totally inept with girly-ish stuff like that =\ But it should be fun... I can't believe homecoming is 2 weeks away, such short notice...

Wow... this was so long.... I wouldn't be surprised if I get carpel tunnel -_- I've been horrible with commenting for people's entries, I'm sorry, and I promise I'll be all over that... tomorrow "XD Must stick with promise/goal #1, so I'm off for online classes.

Peace out! ^_^

F

My friend and I were supposed to chill today, but I couldn't get a hold of her for 4 hours after school and only then did she say we couldn't hang out. I love her to death, but one thing I can't stand is, with getting to places and stuff along those lines, on time, she's very unreliable, even though I know most of her transportation is dependent on her family but still... T_T

M

I'm such a horrible procrastinator! I'm so far behind on my online assignments, and I BS-ed an assignment in my English class on a book that I used online notes for (I don't have an excuse, but I've never done that before...) I have work, and since it's been in the 50's-60's here and no one needs a pool/pool accessories anymore it seems, I'll have 8 hours to make up for the work. But still.... >-<.

L

I found... my Anime Boston Masquerade skit on YouTube! o-0 Kill me, really, I hated doing that skit. I got roped into doing it for a friend, because, I play Winry, and the original Winry dropped it at the last minute, and I can't remember for the life of me why or how I said "Yes" in the first place. So, the skit was set up 4 months in advanced, but I was brought in with THREE HOURS to rehearse lines and change from my Bou Tekesuta Kousen cosplay into a totally different outfit and wig, backstage, around 60+ PEOPLE, but, and here's the kicker, I had to wear my 3 inch JRock platform shoes with the WEDDING DRESS. Not to mention, I'm also terribly stage fright, so I don't know how the hell I managed to pull it off but we all did. And, get ready for it..... We won an award *shot in head* It was a plastic trophy with a big-chested anime character topper, but they were all proud (I was amazed more than anything...) BUT! Now, this vid, with the announcer saying my full name and failing at it, and my horrid performance with an even more horrid wig, is plastered in THREE DIFFERENT VIDS on YouTube! Soooooo

F*ck My Life "XD

(If you didn't know, that was the original reason (the L) for this rant-ish-ness...)

I promise I'll write something interesting later, but I need to do homework. Oh, and here's the video. You might as well see it, I'd love your feedback as I lay dying from red-faced embarrassment x_x

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibLd6JSz0tk


...I don't know how to make the actual vid come up....

So, lovely checking my e-mail today. I wrote a comment to someone's vid who posted Nyappy in the Parallel World (I'm Azarathsflame) Aaaaaaaand I got a lovely response from the lovely YouTubers...





Just lovely....

See, what I don't understand is, why I'm getting thumbs down, and someone who merely said a point in time where Miku barely says "Nyappy" gets 4 thumbs up. I didn't say anything offensive, and I stated my opinions in what I thought was an unoffensive manner, but I guess not to about 6 other people, who sided with someone who said a time, a fact. GAAAAAH how annoying -_-

I realized it back in my Yuuki-disliking days, just how... overly dedicated the Cafekko are. Way over-dedicated. To the point that I really do think that An Cafe would be ashamed if they could read English. People cuss you out, use every trick in the book to prove you're wrong, and are so judgemental if you don't like everything that has to do with An Cafe. It's like, if you're a Cafekko, you're automatically not a loyal fan if you don't like something. Right now, I could name at least 5 An Cafe songs that I don't like. But god forbid I post it on YouTube, because they'll thumbs-down my comment so many times, it won't be shown....

Sorry, most of this is just a rant. But I'm expecting more thumbs-down for my comments, just because I didn't like Nyappy in the Parallel World, which, "apparently", means I don't like the album, which I do <3 *Sigh*... ugh... make the madness of biased Cafekko stop T_T

My internet's been crap lately XP Soooooo, I'll do this as quickly as possible and then give a real entry tomorrow! ...Oh, and my re-done room too! :3 This was stolen/given by baratsubomisan  ^_^


This is a music meme. Using only song titles from one artist/band, cleverly answer these questions:

Pick a band/artist: The GazettE (because 3 people already chose An Cafe :( hahaha, I'll be different)

1. Are you a male or female: Psychedelic Heroine

2. Describe yourself: Silly God Disco

3. How do you feel about yourself:  HEADACHE MAN (I blame school -_-)

4. Describe your ex boyfriend/girlfriend: LEECH

5. Describe your current boy/girl situation: Calm Envy

6. Describe your current location: Filth in The Beauty

7. Describe where you want to be: Machibouke no kouen de [In the park where I waited in vain ...]

8. Your best friend is: Erika (legit! XDDDD)

9. Your favorite color is: Sumire [violet]

10. You know that: Anata no Tame no Kono Inochi [I for You]

11. What’s the weather like: Namaatatakai Ame to Zaratsuita jounetsu [Lukewarm rain and a roughly felt passion]

12. If your life was a television show what would it be called: In The Middle Of Chaos

13. What is life to you: Disorder Heaven

14. What is the best advice you have to give: Kyomu no owari, hakozume no mokushi [The end of nothingness, A revelation packed in a box]

15. If you could change your name what would you change it to: Reila




I think I did okay ^_^" Anyway, I tag everyone! But be original X3

Wooooooow... peace_b84  just wrote a post on the an_cafe  comm. and, in Japan time, I guess everybody on LJ is about 3 hours late for poor Yuukikki's birthday. How the eff did I manage to forget? o-0

For the sake of my own mind, I hardly ever celebrate any J-rocker's birthday on the Japan time, so I guess I'm on-time by my own standards XD But still! Wow... hahaha

Soooo....


...By the way, has Yuuki ever officially disclosed his age or year of birth? o-0 I heard both 1987 and 1986, but I can't imagine that he's 21-going-on-22 (That'd mean Takuya would only be half a year younger than Yuuki...) I'm guessing he's 23 years old now, but whatever age he is, much love for Takahashi! XD <3 Sorry for the belated-ness...

And! OMG! Yuuki and Michael Jackson have the same birthday XDDDDDDDDDD I don't know why but I think that's funny x_x

[edit] My font color and size are acting screwy -_-"

In all of my VK splendor (thanks to the Harajuku Body Line :D), I, and my friend Annie, went shopping at the mall yesterday. And...

Get ready for it....

Ready?

Okay!

They're selling dead-ringer items from An Cafe's outfits from their newest PV, Natsu Koi Natsu GAME! Color and pattern-wise XD

It's insane: Claire's, DEB, even Hot Topic! I kept getting the song stuck in my head every time I saw the stuff o-0

And, of course, being the fan that I am, I bought some look-alike stuff, but also took cell phone pics to show just how much of trendsetters An Cafe really are.

And thank goodness it's in America! X3

So here's my journey...! :

Target:
 (My mom told me that it's not meant the way it seems, but I still think it is XD)


Kohl's:
requested by xshootxawayx . (Sorry, this is the only plaid-ish Abbey Dawn thing they had. But my offer still stands for me to buy it for you if you want :D)


Claire's:
 (What's this??? It's a Natsu Miku pattern! And I bought it! X3 ....Though, looking to the right of it, I just realized that there's a belt that looks sorta like Yuuki's jumpsuit... thing in the new album cover outfit o-0)


DEB:
 (Ok, if you have a DEB near you, go IMMEDIATELY! There is Tons of Natsu-looking stuff there, it's ridiculous. Of course, this is Natsu Miku again, but I don't look good in that much pink -_- So instead, I got...)

 (...Natsu Yuuki! I totally need to take a cosplay pic of myself later XD)

 (There's also Natsu Teruki! The other color that they had (set of 4) was green, but that's not Natsu-anything, hahaha)

 (And then, you can get matching bags for the sweatshirts, save for the Natsu Takuya bag o-0)


Spencer's:
 (Yep.. they sell "Du-Rags", though I honestly didn't know how to spell it before x_x)

 (How could I Not take a pic of this? XP)


Newbury Comics:
 (My other VK half, Annie, with... a stuffed animal sperm...yeah... -_-")


FYE:
 (A stupid joke for a friend: The Uncut box set of Naruto in the Adult 18+ anime section... yeah, I'm a dork >///<)

And finally! Hot Topic:
 (The Natsu-Teruki scarf. I think it was there before the PV, but that's what my mind jumped to, can't help it, hahaha)

 ("Thi-hi" tights, but they're in both Bou colors, and I'm hoping to have a denim mini skirt and white hoodie to make a Merrymaking cosplay, so I bought them :3)

 requested by elgclol (Mikusuke inspired color clips, ne?)

 (They're sparkly!)

 (Bought these ones, hahaha)



And, what has got to be the weirdest coincidence ever in Natsu-crazy colors...

 (All FIVE Nastu colors in one package.... I bought them XDDDD)



Okay! That's the end of my shopping trip! Sorry it's so picture-heavy ^_^" But I hope you enjoyed it!

Now I'm going to take care of my ear. I've had the piercing for almost a week now, but since this morning, the cartilidge piercing is swollen and red and hurting sooooo bad, but that's it, so I'm not sure if it's infected or not...I hope not T_T

Maybe some of "Boku wa soba ni iru kara" will heal my ear. It's really catchy, that chorus, and the lyrics are pretty <3 ...Or G-Dragon's new song "Heartbreaker". I tried not to like it, or him, but alas, I do x_X Weeeeeird....


[edit] So, I've been informed that plaid is the latest trend, which would explain why so much of it is around x_x *bangs head off of wall* But, oh well, I'm sure people will be wearing it around school, but I'll more or less stay oblivious to it, since I wasn't aware of that trend, or any others, until now XD I like the neon plaid, so booooo to the everyone else people that are wearing them as a trend. I'll keep wearing it long after it "out"  XDDDD

*Ahem* I'd like to really apologize to anyone who saw my last entry. For my own personal reasons, I'm not going to delete it. But please, don't read it, I'm rather embarrassed that I went off like that. And no worries, unfortunately, things are back to "normal" 0-o

But anyway!

My lip piercing...

Did not end up happening XD

If anyone's ever seen a pic of me that I've posted on past entries, really, can you picture me with a lip ring?

...Plus... peace_b84  's story about her sister's hole in her face and what happened when she drank liquids freaked me out somewhat 0-o

But that wasn't the deciding factor, really! I just... got caught up in the fangirlism of it all.

First I wanted a center lip piercing like Miku, then a side lip piercing like Kanon (since so many people here told me how much better that would look than the center one) So after chickening out, I instead went with....

 (<--- The 2 white studs X3)

The Teruki approach! XD ...Actually, 3 on the left side... isn't that what Miku has too? 0-o

Right now, it's red and it hurts... cartilidge piercings... I didn't realize that they left you so sore...

Minus a possible small stud on my nose in the future, I realized I don't want any facial piercings, or the holes that come with them, but I don't mind ear piercings, because you can cover them up with your hair and stuff, hahaha

I want more ear piercings, but I guess my ears aren't the right shape for an industrial :( Bummer...

Oh well! I'm not going to get as many as Teruki, but I was just using it as a reference.

So there you have it! Now, I'm going to take some Advil for my achey head and ear and try not to fall asleep on the left side of my head T_T

peace_b84 said something about Miku being really drunk last night (Japan time) and posting a very...vulgar for lack of a better word, picture in the blog. He apologized and scrubbed the office bathroom down as self-punishment. But seriously, thank you Peace, and Miku, his pic from the day before was really not what I was expecting even with him being such a perv, he's a bigger one drunk 0-o

http://blog.livedoor.jp/antic_cafe/  (<-- Catch it while you can)

Thanks again, really, this just made me feel so much better. I wonder if, or how, cafexblog  is going to translate this...

[edit] I guess it won't be translated because someone on the blogs deleted the entry XD I can see why, that was embarrassing for me, and I wasn't even the one who posted it, hahaha. I wish someone would save what was written so it could be translated, I wanted to know what it said!

He's a fucking piece of shit.

He's the hardest person to live with.

I hate him so much sometimes.

He's such an asshole. He is the biggest asshole on the entire planet.

With my other 50 friends, if I don't hear them, I say "What?" or "Excuse me?" and they repeat it and treat me like a normal human being.

I'm home for 2 minutes and he did that to me.

It's never like that with him. Everytime I don't hear him, I get yelled at.

It's always me, he never raised you guys.

Did you know, in all the times that I've been with your father, he's never said "I love you" to me? Not fucking once?

Do you know, on our wedding night, what he said to me when I told him I loved him? Absolutely nothing. Fucking... nothing.

In the 21 years we've been married...

...........................................................................


All of this happened in the car as she was crying, and the whole time she was apologizing to me, but she still kept fucking going.

And all the while, I'm saying "It's okay," when I've realized that all of what she said is true, and that's when I realize that I don't have a mom and dad that truly love each other. At least my mom tries.

Customers in his store will always say how nice he is to the, how he's the greatest guy.

And I just smile and say "Yeah," even though I honestly don't believe them, I've never seen that myself.

I honestly think that he's two different people. I think that he honestly doesn't love anyone. Not my mom and not me.

And during the car ride, after she throws the phone at the divider of the driver and passenger seat, I think back to 2 minutes prior, when she came in in a good mood, and like the times before, she didn't hear something my dad said, and he flipped out at her.

And she walked away muttering, quickly, as I followed her into the car.

And as we're driving out, her voice is shaking, she's crying behind her sunglasses, she's hitting the steering wheel, and saying how sorry she is that I'm witnessing all of this.

She said not to tell anyone, because it's embarassing. Fucking embarrassing? That's the reason?

She feels bad for laying this all on me, that she's never told anyone before. So why me?

I think back, as I'm trying not to cry to worry her, to all of the times that they fought, and I've learned to repress it, and just think it's normal.

It's not fucking normal. But it is to me.

It was her, saying all of this out loud, that makes me want to cry as hard as she is, while we're driving on the highway.

But, like the other times before, I repressed it until now.

I'm not breaking my promise because I'm writing it, not saying it.

And I'm venting, and crying. God fucking dammit.

I hate my dad, I really do. And not even because my mom had or has such feelings about him.

It's because I never felt like he liked me. I know he loves me in the sense that I'm his daughter and he has to, but I don't think he likes me.

He certainly doesn't know a damn thing about me.

I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't know my middle name, really.

God... I fucking hate this.

I pretended the whole day I was out with my friend, that I was okay even though I told her something happened. I didn't want her to worry, so I hid it. And even though we had a fun day today, my mind flashed back to the car ride over to the mall, as I was tying my shoes and playing around with my phone as my mom was asking me if I was alright and not to tell anyone.

"Yep. I'm fine." "I won't tell." But I couldn't look at her. I was distracting myself, what I'm good at.

The reason my mom came home was to pick me up, so I guess it's my fault that this happened.

I don't want anything to happen to them, for us to be a broken family, though in truth, we really are.

But, like I said, I'm just venting. It will all go back to normal... whatever that is. I guess it's what it's been for the last 17 years for me, 21 for my mom. It's just like yesterday. Forget you ever heard it.

I'd love nothing more, but now, I'm scared, and hurt, and pissed and...everything is so messed up.

If you really want to talk to me, anyone on LJ, because I don't want comments, message me. Whatever. Anything to distract me. Since, I guess that's what I've been doing my whole life. But I digress.

I'm sorry, but unlike my mom, I'll stop now. I'll be fine, I guess. Just give me time, or a good distraction.

I figured I'd re-post this, in case some of you weren't members of the versaillesfans comm. It's an OHP update from the remaning memebers of Versailles regarding Jasmine You and the status of the band(<-- in Bold):

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In these past two years, we kept running without any obstacles to stop us.
We supported each other and overcame countless occasions of hardship.

After we saw Jasmine off to the hospital, we went to the Nippon Budoukan.
The five of us, who played concerts at Shibuya C.C. Lemon Hall and were granted our wish of a major debut, made it our objective to play there next.
The moment the four of us climbed the stairs that day, it begain to rain in huge drops.
We had a feeling that he had come there for us.

We promised that one day, we'd certainly stand onstage here together. That was the number one thing he wanted, wasn't it?

Beyond the present, we still haven't been able to think about anything, but we do know this--we cannot give up the dream that the five of us talked together about.
Our tears haven't stopped yet, and we believe that someday, Jasmine will shine down upon us.

Even though we as well as his fans feel sad right now, we also feel the greatness of his achievements. Jasmine will continue living on in the hearts of everyone who knew him from this point forward.

After this, please support people all over the world as if they were Jasmine You.
If the fans who loved Jasmine can hold his purpose and his wishes dear to them, he'll be happy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


(Credits to Lisa at revenantchoir.com and phantasmagoria  for posting)


So, while it is determined for the time being that Versailles will stay together, it is unclear whether they will officially replace Jasmine, though I really don't think they will. I'm happy, extremely relieved, but I know that they really will never be the same without him, and that, while they said to have not had to faces obsatcles as a band for the past 2 years, this will certainly be their biggest challenge ever.

So... What are your thoughts?

   
For starters, if you haven't noticed, I've changed my icon to sad Bou so hopefully, I'll stop crying. 

I didn't think that I'd be so sad over his death. But, I don't think it's entirely that. I think it's because they're one of my favorite bands, the fact that there is a very strong possibility that they won't stay together because of this is heart-breaking. They didn't have songs, they had anthems and ballads. They didn't have PVs, they have dazzling mini movies. And they weren't just a symphony metal band. They were a movement, and a starting mark in Visual Kei history.

Soooooo, getting off of the sentimental, poem-y ness of it all, I was very touched when the Versailles fans in Hungary and Romania (I think...) thought of all of the ideas, that they did on the Versailles comm. Three that I liked were (Pic spam warning!):

1: Painting my nails/wearing purple= Check (Regrettably, I don't own any purple clothes)



2: Lighting lilac candles= Check

 ( More pics if you're interested :) )

3: Releasing purple balloons= Check

 ( More pics again, hahaha )

Before all of this happened, as I said before, fleas took over my house. But now they're gone for the most part and I was able to go back in my room! Yay! Buuuuut, I was stupid -_- We'd just bombed my room for the second time that day, and you're supposed to go in after 2 hours and then open the window. But for some reason, I forgot to open the windows. So when I was getting the stuff for the mini-service for Jasmine, I was in there for about a minute until my throat got scratchy and I couldn't breathe. I ran out and was coughing for 10 minutes and now my throat feels like crap T_T Oh, and my mom thinks I did it on purpose because of Jasmine. So, siseja , DON'T DO IT!

Anyway!

I'm very happy that I could do all of this for him :) I think I was outside for 45 minutes watching the candles burn, mostly because it was really nice out. I started my little vigil at nighttime, around 8PM last night... I know that there was an official time around the world for everyone to do this, but I got confused, so I did it on my own XD 

Now, back to... everything else!

I'm still on Japan time, ughhhhhh x_x I'm up at what is now 5AM right now, because I crashed after work. So... from 5:30PM to 11:30PM, I think. I'm nocturnal, and it sucks. I feel like a hamster. And I looked so tired to my grandfather (my boss), that he insisted 3 times that I should go home. But I made it! ...Barely XP

I need a way to get exhausted... We're having a cook-out tomorrow, hopefully I can stay awake for it.

Oh, I'm also going to get my lip pierced!!! So psyched, but... I'm hoping I can get some help here...

What kind of piercing should I get? I know I want it in my lip, but, well, I'll use Miku as an example...

 

(A: A stud on the side...)


 (B: A ring on the side...)

 

(Or C: A stud in the center?)



I can't decide! Help me out? -.-"



Oh! And finally, peace_b84  tagged a meme to me that I couldn't refuse, because I was given, who else? Versailles. So, in tribute, here it is!


Put your ten favorite songs by the band you receive on your LJ and challenge others to do the same.

(In no particular order...)

1. Ascendead Master
2. The Revenant Choir
3. Zombie
4. Shout and Bites
5. Second Fear- Another Descendant
6. History of the Other Side
7. Prince
8. The Red Carpet Day
9. Forbidden Gate
10. Silent Knight

And... hmm... who to tag? (sorry if you've already been tagged, I'm out of sync with my F-list!) Don't feel pressured! It's just for fun ^_^

ryokenshi - Psycho le Cemu
thep1x3l - ayabie
sashii09 - alice nine.
silveryxdark - The GazettE
siseja - An Cafe

Go shake it! ... I don't know what that means "XD I blame Japan! It's 5AM here, I should be asleep 0-0 kthxbai~

I've checked all of the major J-rock and Versailles -Philharmonic Quintet- fansites, and minus their Myspace which is pretty much never updated, it has been confirmed that early in the morning, on August 9th 2009, bassist of Versailles and the HIZAKI Grace Project, Jasmine You, died.

The cause of death is unknown at the moment, but it's said that his health had decreased so he took a break from the band (announced in August), yet the bass tracks were still being recorded for the new album. However, it seems highly unlikely now that the album will come to us, as Jasmine You's last great, yet unfinished, masterpieces. The album has obviously been put on an indefinite hiatus until the rest of the members of Versailles can come to grips long enough to officially decide if they want to release the untitled album.

I'm in absolute shock. I've been listening to Ascendead Master like a drug, watching the PV, too, but I've been so out of the Versailles loop other than that that I had no idea. My jaw took a good 15 minutes to come up off the floor, my body is shaking and numb, and my eyes welled up with tears and fell. I'm just... I was just in Japan and feel so guilty because I had no idea that he was even in bad health (The poor Myspace fans are still leaving 'get well' messages because no one updates their Myspace...)

My friend even bought the Rock&Read vol. 26 with Kai (GazettE) and Jasmine You, and I admired his natural beauty, while it was still feminine. I honestly never liked him when he was dressed as Jasmine You, in fact, I thought he looked scary and too manly to play a feminine role. I hate that I was ignorant. Just because he wasn't petit like his long-time friend and band member Hizaki, it does not mean that he was not beautiful in that way. It was a very unique style that he created and perfected, that I see now. I wish I had sooner, but I still believe he was beautiful outside of his stage character. I believe that jame-world.com described him best:

"Kageyama Yuuichi, also known as Jasmine You, was born on March 8th in the Aichi prefecture of Japan. Beneath his ornate clothing and classy flair, Jasmine was a typical male, with a love for cars, motorsports, music and movies.

Despite his masculine hobbies, Jasmine You was best known for his femininity and beauty. Jasmine embraced beauty in every form, and lived his life in its luxury, admiring not only natural beauties like landscapes and flowers, but materialistic treasures like fashion, automobiles and well crafted household items. In the visual scene, it was easy to set Jasmine apart from other musicians with his richly designed costumes, teased hair and elaborate accessories, all of which he created himself. From the start of his career to his finale, Jasmine has proved that beauty and fashion breaks the line which divides gender."


His last released masterpiece, Ascendead Master, is something that I, and many other Versailles fans, I'm sure, are listening to and watching his parts, especially, with hopes of a peaceful afterlife. May his family, friends, and, of course his band members find closure soon, and best wishes to them in this extremely tough time. And of course...



[EDIT] Sorry for such over-dramaticness if shown, but Versailles is absolutely one of my favorite bands, and this news hit me hard.

My sources...


http://www.jame-world.com/us/articles-53908-goodnight-sweet-prince.html


http://community.livejournal.com/versaillesfans/172053.html?view=2124053#t2124053


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Versailles_(Japanese_band)

Ok, first off, let me say that I am sooooo sorry to everyone. I totally forgot to say that I had left for Japan, so gomen nasai for not answering comments/PMs sooner!

And, I'm about 2 weeks behind on my F-list T_T pray for me, ne?

No, you don't have to. Daijoubu desu ka ^_^

I am also behind on my travel journal telling all about my adventures in Japan (I'm on Day 3... and I had 12 hours on the plane to write it, but I was too busy crying...) I promise I'll re-type them, with pictures, for you all to see here on LJ!

...While I'm doing that, I won't have time for fanfics or RPs, at least I don't think so... I also have summer reading... that I saved for the last minute... nande? Nande?

And finally, I'm crying. I've been crying a lot. You guys have no idea (unless you've gone, hahaha) how utterly awesome Japan is. It's colorful and happy and the public as a whole is way less rude, and it's... so wonderful. My host family was also so nice, even though they didn't speak much English, they were great, and I made new Japanese friends. I miss everything so much. Being thrown back into the US... I've actually grown to hate it here, really. It's just... economy this, Obama that, bland and blah blah negative-ness. It's too serious...

I'm crying because I'm... homesick? Well, I almost cried a couple of times for missing home in the US, but I've been crying a lot more over leaving Japan. Ugh, it's 2AM here, the time change is horrid, I'm totally not gonna sleep...

Oh, and I got into my room to cry and mope, only to find that my white socks have black spots... fleas. Freakin EVErYWHERE in my room. I screamed bloody murder and started crying some more... So now I'm in the living room. And it really sucks here, and I wanna go back....

Ugh... I look like I got punched in the face right now.... My room is being bug-bombed twice, disinfected and sterilized while I stay at a friend's all tomorrow. So... yeah...

Overall: Japan **** 1/2 out of 5 stars (1/2 taken off because I hated sushi and the time change made me lose sleep...)

I'll re-cap very soon! Lots of love! ^_^

...One more thing- Two more things:

-Camille: I wasn't able to mail the postcard, but I have it for you! It has no French though, hahaha, sorry!

-If you are planning on going to Atlanta GA's airport... DON'T. OMG, worst airport ever.... talk about it later, I gotta stop the namida....

I found this video when randomly searching YouTube vids. I saw this vid called "Miku ~F*ck You!~ and thought it was a hate vid 0.0 So I played it, and it wasn't a hate vid. It was actually quite funny. It's to Lily Allen's song "F*ck You", and... I don't know, I thought it was freakin' hilarious XD

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cGeW98yXSbc


If people take offense to me "saying this" about Miku, then I'll delete this post. Until then, laugh with me!

...Now, I must continue packing~