The Fess-Up

"Umm...Teruki?"

"Hmm?"

"I- well, I wanted to, umm, to tell you something...if that's okay..."

They were sitting in Teruki's apartment with all of the lights off minus the glow from the TV from an old movie they were watching, as the tended to do on their nights off from the band. Teruki paused the movie and moved closer down to Takuya who was sitting on the opposite end of the couch. "What's up?"

He didn't know how he knew, but something about this moment just felt...right to him. It was the moment he needed to talk to Teruki, before he went crazy with keeping quiet like he had so many times in the past. "W-well, I- you mean a l-lot to me, Teruki-san, and I...I, umm..."

He snaked an arm around the younger's shoulders as encouragement to continue. However, he saw Takuya suddenly turn red and unable to look Teruki in the eyes.

"Takuya, are you feeling alright?" He placed a hand on Takuya's cheek, feeling him tense up and gasp quietly. "You feel hot...Do you want me to take you home?" His voice was laced with alarm for Takuya's well-being, looking feverish and slightly shaking.

"No!" He looked back up at Teruki, but a wave of anxiety poured over him and he looked away again. "I mean, no, I'm fine...but..."

"But what? What's wrong?" Teruki sounded just slightly less worried.

Takuya took a deep, uneven breath, but still couldn't calm himself down to tell the drummer what he wanted to- what he needed to say. "I-I...I, umm..." He found himself getting hotter, his fists clenching and un lenching with nervousness, feeling as though he would break down at any second.

The ever-observant Teruki took notice of this and knew that Takuya had something serious to say, but didn't have any idea as to what it could be about. "Takuya, you know you can tell me anything, I won't judge you or get mad. Please tell me what's bothering you."

Takuya looked up and saw a piercing sad look in Teruki's eyes, knowing it was because of him and his inability to tell him what his secret was, leaving the older one hurt and confused. He closed his eyes and took a few more deep breaths, still facing downward. "I...I- Teruki, I..." he stuttered.

"Takuya..."

"I like you, Teruki!" The redhead abruptly shot up, face covered in a red flush, locking eyes with him while trying to suppress scared and nervous tears in the corner of his own eyes. Realizing what he'd said and how loud he'd said it, he uttered the rest hushed. "I really, really like you, Teruki-san, and I have for a long time, just...I wasn't sure how or- or if to tell you... But I jus- I couldn't take it anymore. I don't mind if you don't like me, but I just needed...to...tell you..."

His newfound confidence went away as fast as it appeared, leaving a flustered Takuya and a shocked Teruki in its wake. Teruki slowly took his arm away from around Takuya's shoulders and looked down, deep in thought. "Wow... Takuya-kun, I really wasn't expecting this from you..."

Takuya froze, feeling on himself tense up and his heart race. 'What does that mean? That he never thought I would say it because he thought I wouldn't be able to, or because he thought I would never say it because he wasn't expecting it? What if that means he was expecting someone else to say it? Maybe he was hoping I wouldn't say it because he likes someone else? Why didn't I ask him that first?? Oh God, why did I say this now?? This will mess everything up; The band, our friendship, everything!' His thoughts came at him a mile a minute, all jumbled within each other. But it was everything and more that Takuya had feared by telling Teruki, and everything he had thought about as a result of this, over and over again.

Suddenly, he felt a hand overlapping one of his shaking ones and looked up into Teruki's face yet again. But he couldn't hold the gaze and turned away. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..."

Teruki cocked his head slightly to the side, confused. "Sorry? Why?"

" 'Cause, I didn't want to tell you, and ruin anything with us, which I'm sure I did...and...and I'm not sure if you liked...I wasn't sure, who you liked..." He trailed off, not wanting to directly say that he wasn't sure if Teruki was straight or not, not wanting to offend him. Again, Teruki caught on, and pulled him into a hug when he saw the redhead starting to cry. He wrapped his arms around him, Takuya doing the same around the other's waist, hiding his face into Teruki's chest to muffle quiet and still terrified sobs, since Teruki hadn't said anything after that until another minute passed. He finally spoke while stroking Takuya's back in small, comforting circles.

"Well...I don't really know what to say. But...I do know, that I like you too, Takuya, a lot."

Takuya stifled his cries and his cheeks somehow reddened more than before. Now that he was silent, he heard Teruki's heart for the first time, beating madly, and knew that he wasn't just saying it out of comfort or saying it in a friendly way. With his head still against Teruki's chest, he asked: "You d-do?"

"Yeah, for I while, I suppose. But, like you were about me, I wasn't very sure about you. And you're quite younger than me, too. So I didn't want to be creepy and say anything." Takuya smiled a bit as he could imagine the weird face Teruki probably made while saying the last bit. He sniffled and pulled out of the embrace, trying to look at the brunette past the blurriness in his eyes.

"So... you really like me too?"

"Yeah, I really do." Teruki reached over to brush a loose strand of hair away from Takuya's tear-stained face. "You were really this worried about telling me?"

Takuya rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed. "I just...well, I was scared because of how you would take it, or if you liked someone else, and I didn't want to make things complicated..."

"Nope. The only person I'm interested right now is sitting right here." Teruki smiled sweetly, making the guitarist blush intensely.

"But," Takuya sighed, "I didn't want to cause a problem...with the band..."

"Oh...I understand. But I'm sure that us dating won't interfere with anything having to do with An Cafe."

"...D-dating?"

"Umm, yes? Unless you don't want that..." Teruki asked carefully, hoping he didn't frighten the younger more than he already was.

"N- I mean, no. Teruki, I...I would love to be yours."

"...Takuya...You've just made me so happy." Teruki was grinning ear to ear as proof.

Takuya gave a shy smile of his own, in disbelief that everything had turned out so perfectly. He found himself wrapping his arms around Teruki yet again, burying his face into the smooth crook of his neck. Only this time, he tightened his grip on Teruki, hoping that this moment didn't end like many of his other moments had: as a dream. He hung onto Teruki to be sure that he and everything else was all real. The space between the two quickly disappeared as Teruki pulled Takuya into his lap, winding his arms around him just as tightly, putting his chin on top of the other's head. He felt Takuya grab on to the back of his shirt and became worried that he was upset again. "Takuya? Are you okay?"

Takuya exhaled a breath he didn't even know he was holding in and smiled. "Mm-hmm, better than okay." He released the fistful of fabric he was grabbing and snuggled into Teruki's chest as reassurance. He felt Teruki chuckled against his form.

"Okay, okay, I believe you." He leaned down to kiss Takuya on the head, while also taking in the scent of his vanilla shampoo.

"...Teruki?"

"Yes?"

"Are you sure this won't get in the way of the band? I just, I don't want to cause trouble to anyone..."

Teruki just chuckled again at Takuya's cute, caring nature. "Yes, I'm sure. I mean, look at Miku and Kanon who promised to keep their love life separate from rehearsals, but every time he gets the chance, Miku rushes over and "fanservices" Kanon! Talk about "in the way." " They both laughed at the constant instances of the frontman and bassist doing or getting caught doing the things that lovers do, happening most inconveniently at practices on and off stage. "But, we won't be like that, not unless you wanna be."

Takuya was silent and thoughtful for a moment. "No, I don't want to be like that. I don't want to rush into anything, if you don't mind..." He stopped, thinking how lame he must have sounded to someone 7 years his senior and very likely more experienced. Takuya wasn't sure if Teruki would want to be with someone as naïve as him.

"That's fine." Takuya stopped his doubtful thoughts and looked up to see Teruki gently smiling. "I don't want to do anything you don't want to. We'll take things slow, slow and steady."

Takuya grinned and nodded to Teruki, then tried to find that nice comfy spot against his chest again. When he found it, he didn't want to move, and curled his legs up against his chest. Teruki placed one arm around his waist, and the other on his back again, rubbing it tenderly, until he found a more comfortable spot for it, stroking Takuya's red hair. The guitarist managed to suppress a happy moan from the gesture and sighed, closing his eyes. He smiled to himself and snuggled closer to Teruki, basking in his comforting presence, happy he finally had someone to call his own, while Teruki looked down lovingly at the clearly tired boy in his lap, thinking the same thing.

With the movie still paused and forgotten about, they didn't care as they stayed embracing on the couch, immersed in each other's warmth and listening their silent breaths and heartbeat as they quickly fell asleep.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The sink was pouring out water both hot and cold, anything to get rid of it, quick. Beyond the noise of the running water was Takuya coughing, hunched over the sink. He was violently shaking and held an uneasy grip on the porcelain below him. He looked at himself in the mirror, hating what he saw and almost instantly looked away, dry-heaving. The sounds echoed off of the bathroom walls and repeated until a gag ensued, heaving up remnants of alcohol and bar food from the previous night. The action went further than just a hangover.

Tears flooded down Takuya's cheeks as he continued to cough and spit until nothing remained in him but stomach acid. His throat was scratchy and stung, his form was still tremoring as it remained dependent on the support of the sink top. He watched the mess mix with the tap water and carry it down the drain again.

Takuya hated this whole situation; how it happened, why it happened, and especially what had happened. 'It wasn't supposed to be this way... I was going to- I needed to take it slow and steady like he said we would, to figure it out...' It was then that two new thoughts became apparent to him. 'Thoughts...God, shut up! Why can't I just stop thinking?'

The first thought was about Teruki. Takuya wondered, if he had promised to him that they would take things slow, then why did he let this happen? It made Takuya hurt and slightly angry that Teruki let this happen, and that he didn't know what possible reason there could be as to why. And the second thought was about himself. What nobody knew, not even Takuya himself, was that he was treading a thin line, and now that he'd inevitably broken it, he was more confused than ever. Because he'd never been with a guy before. Because he knew, and concealed from Teruki, that the drummer had a crush on him long before his own confession. And because he knew no one should dread or regret the things they do with someone they love.

The sounds and actions of the previous night still rang clear in his head, and he couldn't take it anymore. He finally crouched down, unable to stand, and leaned against the door. Feebly, he covered his ears with his hands hoping everything would just stop.

'...It wasn't supposed to be this way...none of this...this wasn't supposed to happen.'

A/N: Ta-da! The newest chapter X3

Mid-way through writing this, I had written it as though Takuya had confessed to Teruki the night of his first-time (^_~) When I realized that I had forgotten the title of this ficcy: "Slow and Steady" as in, "Slow and Steady relationship". So I couldn't possibly have this be a one-night stand story, or else the whole title and original concept would make no sense. Oopsies......

...But I fixed it! So it's all good... right? -.-"

The NEXT chapter will be my intended one, I promise! And I hope this isn't too confusing, but I'm going to be jumping from the past to the present a bit. But I'll have indications of it through italicizing, which are also used for thoughts, like 'this'. See? Clever, ne?

...No, not really, huh? >///<

Like I said, the next chapter will be the one I started with, my first time writing such a scene, too...Wish me luck? ^_^"